life as we know it
Sunday, April 24, 2005
11:01PM - what the hell happened to you?
ok so life is having its ups and downs right now. i have so many emotions i am feeling it is rediculous. i catch myself trying to fix everything else in life when i should really be fixing my own life. i haven't wrote in a while because i simply have no time at all. i guess thats how everyone has been lately. i find myself getting angry at the friends who arent here and avoiding picking up the phone to call them and tell them how much i miss them and i want things to be normal again. but i have too much pride to be the one to make the call and i guess i am just waiting for that anonomys phone call or familiar face to get a hold of me. what the hell is going on? a part of me just wants to blow up on this whole journal but then who wants to read that? i dont know what the hell to do anymore the person who i was most close to just fell off the face of the earth or at least thats what i think. i want to have our friendship back again so bad but then in a way i dont know if i can get over the fact that you can just walk out of someones life like that...how can you do that to your best freind? when you finally do read this give me a call maybe ill answer... but i cant be a freind at your convienince im either there always or not at all you pick.
-*Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name. Someone asked if I knew you. Looking away, I thought of all the time we had together; sharing, laughter, tears, jokes, and tons more. And then without explanation you were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer, and then said softly, "Once...I thought I did."
-*It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends. It's really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
11:27PM - what does the future hold...?
its been hectic once again since school has started... have studien to do but im so exhausted from today already, i think i will go to sleep and hope for the best on the quiz. had my tarrot cards read that was interesting.. everything she said was true but it kinda made me wonder if i was just finding some place in my life where i could relate to the cards or if they really were telling the truth. well wendis aunt does them also and she is very specific so im going to ask her if she will read my cards and tell what the future has in store for me...?
| You scored as Punk/Rebel. |
What's Your High School Stereotype?
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Friday, January 7, 2005
today is a better day!! worked went tanning, now im a t home wonderin what to do tonight. my hunny is goin to the bar with "the guys" so... not sure if i wanna party maybe ill go up to the funeral home for angie. tomorrow is gonna be a busy day, workout, the funeral, hangout with my man, but oh well. i start school tuesday, im happy too. i think this semester will go a lot better. i have high expectations for myself nothing will bring me down!! i have so much to do right now but do not want to do it. i suppose i should take a shower and do something productive with myself.
EVERYONE: get tickets to see shinedown feb. 12
and tickets for the snocore tour feb.18 chevelle, crossfade, strata, helmet, and future leaders of the world... its gonna be awesome you should go...
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
4:20PM - this so called life
it has been a while, i know. life has been kinda caotic lately. im gettin a differnt vibe from my dad lately and i dont know why. its like that i dont care what you do kinda thing not really talkin to me except to bitch about something. i dont understand. i am gettin the worst guilt trip of my life from everyone, why dont you hang out anymore? i miss you kinda thing i havent went anywhere. i just think its time to grow up. im sick of all the bullshit that i get. everyone thinks its jake but what they dont understand is that when i am with him i feel sane. im not stressed out like i always was. school seems like its gonna be fun and i want to get my career back on track. im sorry if everyone feels like i have ditched them i dont know what you want from me. yea id like to hang out more too and im gonna try to do my best but there are only 24 hrs in a day and one of me to go around plus im tryin to hold down a job, go to school have a boyfriend and have a life all at the same time its hard. i just need to adjust to all of this but i promise i am gonna make time for everyone else and when i get a chance just have a little of me time, so i guess thats my new years resolution and to quit smokin soon.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
11:57PM - Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!
ok school is finally over! no more crammin on sunday nights im done with that shit. cant wait till next semester starts so i cant start fresh. christmas is almost here, yay. im just excited to have three weeks off...what to do what to do? absolutely nothin. so our water main busted at work and we had to go in and clean up a horrible mess. the floors were black, and we had to wash every dish in the store, yea not fun. had and interview at brick street today, i think it went well. still have to finish up some xmas shoppin, and havent got anything for my brother for his bday which is today. ooops!! want to go get jordan and jake some other things wont be able to get to it until thursday. wonder what jake is gettin me? hmm? o well got to go love ya.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
4:25PM - in a rush
goin to go get those buns of steel here in a min!! haha. have so much studyin to do after that, say a prayer for me to pass!!!! got 22/20 on the bio exam, yay.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
10:43PM - life is soooooo good!
so how the hell is everyone? i havent been online in forver. i have been havin a good time though! very good! ya ya ya i know everyone has had to hear how i have been on cloud nine for the past few weeks, but what can i say. happiness does exist i found that out. everything just seems to be falling into place. i am happy school is almost over, and i can start fresh next semster. money isnt bad right now i am conetent. however i am goin to a resturant on tuesday to apply there. they are hiring servers i think i have a good chance at getting the job. two jobs again, maybe, i dont know about all that but i really want the money. wish me luck. the love life could not be better. what more can i ask for? went shopping yesterday i am gonna be the best big sister in the world for about a day!! haha. dont really miss the party life i think i am about over that stage i fucked up so much this semester, i cannot afford to do that again. but for now i am workin on my new relationship (if you wanna call it that, (wink, wink)) and gettin my life back on track. i have a good guy right at my feet and i am going to keep him, no way am i messin this one up. he is awesome. what more cani say but as i am writing this i am slackin on my studies so gotta go. love yas.
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
i finally feel like my life is gettin back on track. we have finals next week so no partyin for a while for me :( but next semester i can start fresh and not let myself fall behind. everything seems as though it is falling into place now, and i am happier than i have ever been in my life. when i was with matt it was like i felt i had to be with him to keep him from a nervous breakdown and i was the one having one inside that no one knew about. i just keep finding new shit out each day that goes by and i realize that he really didnt love me as much as he said he did. but guess what i am thanking him now for everything he put me through because it only made me stronger and now i have a wonderful guy. i am learning to look at all the things that life throws at me and somehow find something good out of it. ya know what i can so far. i feel so much better about myself now. i am not as stressed out i am feeling much healthier since i have been workin out, and i am workin on quiting smoking again, this time i am gonna do it. i am startin the new year fresh and no smoking for me, its hard but im trying harder. its a good day. going back to sleep now im very tired.
Sunday, December 5, 2004
it was another 3 movie night with him!! best night ever! i love takin things slow with him because it makes the first time so much better. it was so worth the wait. i kinda feel bad cuz i gotta cut things off now with...ya know. but its for the best and i dont want to ruine the best thing that has ever happened to me. sorry. jake is awesome. i feel like a little kid again when i am with him i dont know how to describe it but i kow that i like it and i want it so bad. im not lonely anymore.
Saturday, December 4, 2004
1:17AM - this is awesome
just got home from jakes. i have so much fun with him. i think this is the beggining of a very good thing. we have a lot in common and i enjoy spending time with him. dad doesnt like the idea too much because of the big age difference but he will get over it, eventually. he is an absolutely all around great guy. everything i can ask for is him. so needless to say the holidays arent going to be lonely for me this year, like i thought they would be. this is going somewhere i feel it.
Thursday, December 2, 2004
5:11PM - buns of steel!!! hehe
sophie and i started working out today at fitness USA. im soooo excited. it'll take about 3 months or less to get to my goal weight and size, as long as i work out 3 times a week for 45min a day. it isnt bad. by summer im gonna be a hottie, not that im not already!! hehe. its a lot better when you have someone to go with and motivate you, anyone want to join with us? they have a cheap payment plan it averages ou to like $8 a week. i feel more energized already!! well im gonna clean my house and get more studying done, yes i am studying more now that the semester is almost over :( not too bright but hey better late than never, right?
Monday, November 29, 2004
12:39PM - it was a fun wekend
ok so he is mr. wonderful in a nutshell. i didnt leave his house until like 1:30am, it was awsome. we watched like 3 movies, talked forever and had a blast like always. that was sat. night. last night i hung out with mike, we went to meijers that store is always fun, went to miguels, and to randyls smoked and had fun, ahh the good ole times. afterwards we went to the restraunt to "study" didnt do much of that, too high to think! so we bullshitted for a while. he made a war zone out of our food that was commical, i got a picture of it for you all to see. then the mushrooms and half and half were holding his parents hostage:ask him i dont know about that. he hid the poor waitresses tip in a cup and left a mystery note for her, ya it was a good time. i have the whole weekend off basically. hopefully i can hang out with jake ;)!and do a little partying. well im gonna go for taco bell. mmm...good!
Saturday, November 27, 2004
6:45PM - scary movie night!
going to hang out with Mr. Wonderful, or so i hope he is. lol. were probably gonna watch the grude and hang out, fun fun!! tell ya all about it later. bye love ya
Thursday, November 25, 2004
2:27PM - HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
man i think this panic anxiety disorder is really starten to take effect. i worry about everything and get so upset, i cant stand it. i just wanna be laid back and not have a care in the world. i think that is impossible for even the most "normal" people. well last night i went with nicole an heather to the tattoo shop. yes, thats right i got one!! i got cherries on my ankle just like i wanted. it did hurt a little, felt like someone was carving in my skin, which they were but... it hurt. i had to keep talkin so i wouldnt pay attention, but it wasnt bad, ill be gettin another one sometime!! mmm.... the trukey in the oven smells so good. cant wait. going to fight the crowds tomorrow. yay. i love it its like an adreniline rush. ok well gonna go shower and patiently wait for my food.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
you made me feel worthless tonight. how can you be such an asshole? i was willing to be your friend but it seems like that is only a one way street. only when it is to your convienince do you want anything from me. i am sick of trying anymore. why do i even bother? i am trying to hold on to something that was never even there. i am trying to hold on to who i thought was a friend, but am now realizing i was wrong. i wish we could start over, on good terms. is that possible. i know you are a good person, i can see that. i just wish you would show it. you cant take for granted somone will always be there because one day they might not be. i dont want to walk out on, you but you make it so hard for me to stay. there is so much more i want to say but i feel like i should say it in person. typing it on this damn computer you will not understand what i am trying to say, but saying it in person may only blow up in my face. thats what i am trying to avoid. i just wish you were in my shoes and knew how it was to be put you in this kind of situation. have some consideration and realize that other people have feelings, yes even i do.
7:56PM - i changed my screen name
hey guys. i had to change my screen name on AOL. it is firstname.lastname@example.org so add me to your buddy list and you can take off the gizmoe821. love ya's. Kristy
Monday, November 22, 2004
12:20PM - A SIMPLE REQUEST TO THE WORLD
NEED SLEEP VERY MUCH... HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL BUT WANT TO SLEEP! WORLD, WILL YOU STOP SO I CAN SLEEP MY LIFE AWAY, BUT WASTE NO TIME? THANK YOU.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
11:18PM - you make me feel........
ok so im full of everything to say but i really am limited on what i can. it sux. i wanna yell at the computer with my every thought but i know i cant do that. some people just have a way of makin you feel like shit sometimes. thats all i wanna say about that untill i can find the right way to go about sayin what i really want to say. thanks!
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .
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